Just realized my writing teacher's 'show, don't tell' advice was wrong for my first chapter

He said 'your character is just a list of adjectives right now' after reading 5 pages, so I rewrote it as her fixing a broken radio to show her patience instead. Anyone else get feedback that flipped a whole scene for them?

3 comments

3 Comments

paulperry24d agoMost Upvoted

That fishing line example really hits home. I see this all the time with my neighbor. He never talks about being a careful person, but you can tell by the way he repaints his fence before a single chip shows. Actions just stick with you more than labels. It's like people prove who they are by what they do, not what they say they are.

gibson.oliver1d ago

My old guitar teacher had this rule about never naming a chord, just showing the finger placement. Reminds me of what @paulperry said about his neighbor's fence. The right detail changes everything.

charlie_hayes5024d ago

Oh man, that's the best kind of feedback. My beta reader once said my hero just felt "angry all the time." So instead of saying he was bitter, I wrote a scene where he meticulously untangles a knotted fishing line instead of just cutting it. That one action showed his stubborn control way better than any adjective. Your radio fix is perfect for that.