The day my dogs ate the whole charcuterie board, 45 minutes before guests arrived

Last Saturday I spent 2 hours layering prosciutto, aged gouda, figs, and those little cornichons into a board for a housewarming thing. I stepped away to grab a corkscrew, and my lab and dachshund tag-teamed the coffee table, cleaned it in maybe 3 minutes flat. Came back to a smear of fig jam on the floor and one sad cracker under the couch. I ended up rebuilding it with just pepperoni, string cheese, and grapes from the fridge, and honestly my friends still ate that like it was gourmet. Has anyone else had a snack plate disaster that forced a last minute scramble like this, or am I the only one with chaos hounds?

1 comments

1 Comment

anna_hill4d ago

Ha, one tiny detail you got wrong there, those cornichons are basically just baby pickles, and you made them sound fancy when they're really just the cheap thrill of the board lol. My golden retriever once ate an entire wheel of brie off the counter while I was on a work call, wrapper and all, and I had zero backup snacks so I just put out a bowl of olives and called it "Mediterranean style." The trick is to learn that dogs have a sixth sense for the one thing you can't replace, and guests will totally buy any story if you serve it with confidence. Your rebuild actually sounds way better than the original, pepperoni and grapes are a legit combo, so honestly you won that round. Chaos hounds are a lifestyle, not a mistake, and at least you didn't have to explain why your dog was throwing up prosciutto on the rug mid-party.